this was originally recorded in fruity loops with a whole bunch of electronic nonsense and ended up feeling better to me more stripped down. i was watching What About Bob while recording it and it ended up syncing up in a silly way that doesn't really mean anything but was fun anyway.
lyrics
crawled into bed and i was just a kid with life ahead of me,
and i woke a bitter jaded mess, devoid of spirit at 19.
years have passed, i still find myself failing to leave.
oh god i feel it now, i've lost the flame that maintains my heat.
the sun it rose again. surprise, surprise, the cycle never ends.
days bleed to the next, i'm losing time and the dust collects.
i've gone and lost a friend, she left in that hospital bed.
the waiting room's a mess of stillborn thoughts and all of our unrest.
found normalcy in medication, can't find my way back.
found nausea in interaction, but also in the lack.
despondency is sold so well, and your friends all stand and clap,
so take a bow and take the blame, cause they can see right through your act.
the sun it rose again. surprise, surprise, the cycles never end.
days bleed to the next, i'm losing time and the dust collects.
i've gone and lost a friend, she left in that hospital bed.
the living room's a mess of stillborn thoughts and all of our distress.