wake up, put on sunday best.
the tie's a noose around my neck.
you promise me the world,
but if the truth be told i'm not interested.
the desire is inherent,
to work and save a couple cents.
i just wasn't born with it,
i guess i'll have to find a way to be content

now i'm speeding down a highway lane.
the pursuit of payment, it's such a pain.
it's supposed to be my domain,
but these hard lights are driving me insane.
this isn't healthy for my brain.
i can feel myself deteriorate.
four walls keep me locked away,
and it kills me but i've got to stay.

spent the better part of my youth believing things don't need proof.
i was a frightened child choking down spoonfuls of untruth.
now i'm wasting adulthood clocking into somewhere i don't wanna be.
it's a necessity, but if we are the cogs i want out of that machine.

the desire is inherent,
i'm waiting for a bird to land.
they keep circling, but
who would want to hold these filthy hands?
i've bitten hard, i took the bait,
but you know chemicals have expiration dates.
you're running out of love in your brain,
but i swear you've got what i need to be tame.

you're running around my thoughts again.
you're so goddamned energetic.
pursuit of pleasure, it's such a pain,
and the city light's are only trying to keep me away.

now i'm running out of things to say,
the words they fill an empty space.
we've sat like this a couple days,
but i can't make these bedposts my place.
think of all your love i've seen,
but now it's so unappealing.
it's a necessity, but if we are the cogs i want out of that.

to get away is not enough, you'll never make your mind up.
i'm still stuck in this spot, life is happening wherever i'm not.
they're always dressed in black and white, saying
"let me bet you half my shit i'm gonna love you until one of us dies."
i'm never leaving this spot, life is happening everywhere i'm not.

i know your brain will never bend,
you've got some bruises i wish i could mend,
but i guess i'll leave it be until i get drunk and tell you i love you again.
good things come to those who wait,
but tell me when's it gonna be my day?
it's simply symmetry, but if we are the cogs i want out of that machine.



applicant-

i'm going to kill myself
and i know exactly how
to do it.

i'll wake up one morning
despondent
desiring
alone.
i'll dress up
get into my car
drive ten
fifteen
thirty minutes
on one of many death traps
of congested highways.
i'll park, get out and
lock the door behind me,
stand in line with
the rest of those
hoping to kill
themselves.

i'll spend five minutes alone
in a tiny, stuffy room
with a tiny, stuffy man
claiming to be in charge.
i'll tell him my strengths.
i'll tell him my weaknesses
though not all of them,
out of fear I may not be able to
kill myself.
we'll make an agreement
papers will be signed
and soon the noose he gives me
will be tied tight
as I slave away in his four walls:
a refuse for none,

except for those
longing to kill
themselves.